Portfolio - Joe Hospodor

Thanks To President Trump, I Can Finally Tell The Ocean How I Really Feel About It

I Don’t Care Who You Are Or What Color Your Skin Is, I Will Do Anything To Make Sure You Get Your Health Care Denied

@pitchjokes

other products made by I Cant Believe Its Not Butter:

-Fuck Off, It’s Mayonnaise
-I Hope These Aren’t Hornets
-You Thought This Was Yogurt? Surprise, Dumbass!
-Fuck My Ass, Thats Good Peanut Brittle
-No One Said This Was Ham
— Pitch (@pitchjokes) August 8, 2018

PHILADELPHIA: We’re from Philly, we’ll be the Phillies.

NEW YORK: We’re from New York, we’ll be the Yankees.

BOSTON: We just like socks
— Pitch (@pitchjokes) September 27, 2018

way cooler names for birds:
-air gerbils
-meat planes
-up rats
-shriek feathers
-beaky boys
-Larry
— Pitch (@pitchjokes) July 9, 2018

The Strokes are my grandfathers favorite band and least favorite way he died
— Pitch (@pitchjokes) January 6, 2019

Astronauts Divorced dads
🤝
“I need space”
— Pitch (@pitchjokes) September 13, 2019

popular porn searches in 2018:
-a man who listens
-just the movie PADDINGTON
-porn with snapchat filters
-student loan shaming
-casting couch without sex, just the hiring
— Pitch (@pitchjokes) September 18, 2018

Some facts about SHARKS for Shark Week!

-sharks are easily identified by their overinflated sense of self worth
-they die if they stop moving, because they are all strapped with bombs
-sharks are made of 95% teeth, and 5% more teeth
-all of them are named Tony
— Pitch (@pitchjokes) July 26, 2018

tinder bio for a snake:
-sorry for the group shot, im the one with no legs
-easily charmed
-yes it grows. and it sheds
-please only message if you’re 6’0 or longer
-**POISONOUS ONLY**
— Pitch (@pitchjokes) August 1, 2018

Oddly Specific Grocery Aisle Signs
-White People’s Idea of Hispanic Foods
-Bulk Nuts to Shove Your Filthy Hands Into
-Certified Pre-Owned Food
-Foods That Remind You of Her
-Ham?
— Pitch (@pitchjokes) February 18, 2020

TIRED: we bought a zoo
WIRED: we rose up and took the zoo by force, all hail the reptile house
— Pitch (@pitchjokes) August 8, 2019

I’ve also gotten to write for other people’s Twitter accounts via Pitch in several other private/NDA writers’ rooms that I can’t talk about, but they were very fun.